Thursday, August 1, 2013

It's not You, It's ME...Really

I've got an announcement to suck. You are not nearly as awesome as you think. I know all of the self-help books are there to make you believe that you're AMAZING and worthy of not just love, but praise and worship!!! *catches the holy ghost...does the cat daddy to Mary Mary* You're not. You're probably a good person. You have a lot of great qualities. Probably have a good heart and allat. But you're not perfect. None of us are. And the sooner we accept that, the sooner we can be better. 
Probably Not

I'm a great debater (no Denzel). I can argue. That's my gift....and my curse. I've broken up with women because I was wrong and made them feel like it was THEIR fault. That's called "being a piece of shit". Not in every case, but...enough to see a pattern. Now to be fair, I've loved women before. I've cared greatly for a few women. But...taking responsibility for my mistakes was never a part of my makeup. When I finally figured out "oh...they're NOT crazy, I'm full of shit" life changed.

Ask yourself...when your significant other tells you they don't like something you you think about it, consider how they're seeing it, then address it? Or... (what most people do) do you defend yourself? No one likes to be "attacked". But this isn't your enemy. This is someone you're either getting to know better, or building a life with. When you defend yourself, you're saying "whatever I'm doing is cool, you've got it all wrong". When you think/consider first, you're saying "the person that I care about is affected by my behavior. How can I correct that?". I mean...if your goal is to actually have a happy relationship, you'd probably want to do the latter. Is that what you want? Or do you want someone to worship the ground you walk on and see you as the modern day Christ, incapable of mistake?

Some woman out there is reading this and nodding. She's going "yep...i just want him to accept that he's wrong sometimes". Yes, ma'am. I'm here for you. But... (come on knew a "but" was coming) what are you contributing to your own demise? When he says something you do bothers him, do you say "i only do that because I care"? Or one of my favorites "I'm a women, what do you expect?". Own your shit, too. If this is a man that you want to be with, it's important that you know what he likes/doesn't like. Asking him to give you a pass whilst changing who he is will leave you alone and bitter. 
Come on...can't ONE of these not be corny?

Nobody gets a pass. You gotta know your strengths and weaknesses. Then find someone you can be yourself around. Someone who knows how to work through misunderstandings and come out stronger. If every time you argue, you love him/her less and're doing it wrong (or you're with the wrong person). Listen to your own conversations. If you find yourself talking about everything that's wrong with the opposite're losing. Don't's JUST as unhealthy to think it's ALWAYS your fault. You need balance. Once you have a realistic view of yourself, you can really go and find what you deserve. 

P.S. I'm not a relationship expert. These are my observations and if you can relate, cool. If not? It ain't for you. In the meantime...waffles.


  1. I really liked this- I agree 100%

  2. Yeah. That's it. Anyone who cannot pony up with a heartfelt, "I don't know," or, "I was wrong," is no one you want to spend the rest of your life with. Real. Marriage is like doubling down at a Blackjack table. You want both hands to win. If that isn't the goal, you're just wasting the time of all parties involved. I'm done.